Hey guys, how's it going? Chris is in South Park, Colorado this weekend (seriously) and so we're bringing you a special edition of
These Pretzels are Making Me Thirsty with a
College Radio Football preview. (And PS - Chris wanted the Cowgirls, us Seminoles don't really think they're all that.)
College Radio Football - By: Austin LaRocheYou know how the billboard charts call indie music "college radio?" I've always been indifferent towards the title, considering it's really the only radio outlet indie music gets (other than Sirius and XM, and here at GVB, we're Sirius people), even if it sounds a little lame. Anyway, I figured, I love college radio, I love college football, why not a college football preview with indie music equivalents?
So I decided we'd wait until after the first week of the season, ya know, see who's pretending (Oklahoma) and who's contending (Auburn). Also, the year FSU (my alma mater) lost in the first game of the season to the Canes, I hated college football for 5 weeks. Obviously, that didn't happen this year, so I'm excited about a solid, albeit not great, FSU squad (how bout MY BOY Buster Davis, though?). Due to your emails and comments, I've realized a good number of you all out there in the indie blogosphere are sports fans as well, so this one's for you guys. Alright, the
Top 20. . .
(Note: the rankings are only for the football teams, although for the most part, the bands are somewhat close in indie rankings in terms of what the indie media thinks.)
20. Miami - The Strokes
Things haven't really worked out for these guys since 2001, have they? I mean, Miami won the National title with arguably the best college football team of all time, and the Strokes set the pace for the post-punk revival with
Is This It that same year. But since then? A lot of hype, a lot of expectations that weren't met, and overall glee from someone who hates them both. :-) But, alas, Strokies and Canes, even if most people involved in any sort of hype machine might disagree, you both are talented enough to turn it around, and you're still just good enough to crack the top 20. . .even if I wish you weren't.
As far as a football assessment goes, the Miami D will hold up just enough to finish second in the Coastal Division of the ACC, and Kyle Wright will come around. Plus, their stud receiver and running back were both suspended for the FSU game, so that could be a factor. But they'll probably lose to Louisville and either Georgia Tech or Virginia Tech.
(click
read more link for full "College Radio Football Preview")
19. Clemson – Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
All you need for a little hype in the sports world is one player who comes on strong at the end of the year for a mediocre team. As far as music goes, a cool background story (like a DIY album) and good reviews (see everywhere), and all eyes are on you. For Clemson, we have halfback James Davis and his 5.3 yrds per carry last season, and wahlah…ACC championship talk. With Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, and their startling self-titled debut, we have a band that has the talent, and now we’re waiting to see what happens. I predict about the same for both. I see Clemson only losing 3 games and I see CYHSY coming back with one of those “second Interpol” albums—obviously good, but so similar to the first because of their unique sound that it will be reviewed a little worse, but not by much.
18. Nebraska – Built to Spill
What can I say, these two ran the shizzy in the 90s. I wasn’t an indie rocker in those days, but when asked about indie rock, I knew three names—Built to Spill, Pavement, and Guided by Voices. I think indie rockers who didn’t know much about college football knew of two good teams in the 90s—Nebraska and FSU (ok, Florida fans, you’re up there, too.) But these days, both are a little overlooked. Nebraska changed its offense completely (and boy I wish they hadn’t because the parallel would be so much stronger), and Built to Spill remained the same. Either way, both saw better competitors rise to the top, and both are trying to climb back to where they once were. I think they’re both on the right track, just not this very second.
17. Tennessee – The Flaming Lips
Tradition in the college football world means “stuck together for at least 10 years” in the indie rock world. And few bands ever do this. (In fact, U2 is the only band to never lose 1 member for over 20 years. Well, them and like 3 bar bands in redneck towns that no one has ever heard of). Regardless, both of these guys know about the bumpiness of the journey, what it means to be on top (Tennessee ’98, Flaming Lips ’99), and both know what it’s like to have some lows (Tennessee disappears every few years from the polls, the Flaming Lips didn’t get much love for At War with the Mystics). What the comparison really comes down to is the live show/home game. It’s unbelievable. Knoxville fills its 100,000+ stadium EVERY game and its just a sea of orange. Every time they show the aerial view, all you can see is orange. They have the traditional song “Rocky Top” playing after each touchdown, and the experience is better than the game. The same can be said for Wayne Coyne and his Flaming Lips. If you see them live, you get giant bubbles, aliens, inflatable Santa Clauses, it’s surreal. You can’t explain the experience, on either accord, but it’s something you’ll never forget.
16. Iowa – Rogue Wave
This is one of the funniest to me. Here we have Iowa, who gets the hype from all the Big Ten media here in the Midwest, and it’s the same story every year. We know they have a great coach and Drew Tate is poised for a big year, but with all the people who think they’re going to be so great is the reality—they’re a middle of the pack team. Same can be said with Rogue Wave. Blogs went crazy over Descended Like Vultures, but you know who didn’t—their end-of-the-year lists. They were that band in the fall everyone was getting into, but by time the year ended and their “best of” lists came out, Rogue Wave wasn’t around anymore. Iowa’s the same way. They’re a great team to assure 3 losses in a tough division. Rogue Wave isn’t different…shit, they’re on Sub Pop—talk about competition. Basically, they’re the pretender who always appears in the beginning to be a contender.
15. Oklahoma – The White Stripes
You have no idea how painful it is for me to write this. I love the Stripes, and I f---ing hate the Sooners. But you can’t deny the parallels. Arguably, a top contender for best program/band of the new millennium. Their best work was done in 2001—White Blood Cells and the National Championship—respectively. Both have amazing leaders (Jack White and Bob Stoops), and both are in a state of uncertainty right now. I think there’s no way the comparison holds up after this year, but as of now, it’s perfect. I mean, 2002-2005 were really solid years for both, and really the only difference is that Oklahoma stinks it up on the big stage, whereas the Stripes are the best live band alive right now. (Note: I saw the White Stripes in a festival setting last year and told my girlfriend, “this is what it must have been like to see Kurt Cobain and Nirvana in 1993.” And yes, I’m pretty sure I’ve already mentioned it in another column, but you can’t hype Jack White up enough…you just can’t.)
Anyway, looks like Jack’s enjoying his new band and it may take a few years for the Stripes to get back to their throne, just as the reeling Sooners and their QB problems will take a solid 2-3 years to work out. I still can’t believe I wrote this, but even worse, I still can’t believe it’s true.
14. Florida – Radiohead
(Chris from GVB does not support this message, and you’ll see why in a minute.)
The proverbial shit just hit the proverbial fan, didn’t it, readers? This is more of a personally opinionated one, not an “indie media would agree with this ranking” one. Hear me out. Just as I hate when UF is extremely good, I hate just as much when Radiohead is good. You see, Thom Yorke and Florida football go hand in hand. Look at the history. 1997 we saw one of the best college football teams of the nineties in that Gator squad. What was the arguable best album of that same decade? 1997’s Ok Computer. Florida remained solid throughout the 90s and had an amazing squad in the early 2000s. Kid A came out in October of 2000. Now, the argument gets a little more “up for discussion” from here. I understand that. But most Radiohead fans would agree that they haven’t been as good since Kid A, right? Most UF fans would say the same about their squad. On top of that, most sports experts would say that when those two football teams, the 1997 and 2001 Gators, were on, they were the scariest team in football. I mean, if it weren’t for that 2001 juggernaut Miami squad, people would have been talking about that UF team the way they did the Canes. As for Radiohead, Ok Computer and Kid A get that same kind of ‘97/’01 Gator talk in music. And let’s be honest, people pretended to be a lot more “blown away” by Hail to the Thief than they really were.
The reason I can relate these two so well is because I’ve always viewed them the same—I can admit when they are phenomenal, but I really can’t stand either one of them. Before the Radiohead fans come to my apartment and burn it down, let me just say, I think that both are headed for a comeback. Yorke got his solo album out of the way (we’ll call those the Zook years) and UF may have the best young coach in football, Urban Meyer, not to mention recruits galore. Remember, this is just this season, so when Tim Tebow wins two Heismans and three national championships or Radiohead makes an album that Pitchfork gives its first “11” to, then you guys can call me an idiot. But where they stand right now, well, I say through history and current situation, the comparison holds.
(Did I just bash Radiohead on an indie blog? I am an idiot. I’m beyond idiot. Actually, no I’m not, I’m an opinionated columnist who is in the 1% of the population who believes Radiohead didn’t die for our sins. This is one of the 200 reasons I considered myself a Non-Indie Dude. But remember haters, you’re in the 99 percentile, you’re cooler than me. And yes, I’m really afraid of Radiohead fans, they’re the most loyal fans in the world. Just ask my buddy, Dave, a diehard Radiohead fan who I wrote about a few weeks ago. There’s a 27% chance when he reads this that he’ll fly to Chicago just to punch me in the face.)
13. Michigan – Spoon
(Chris wanted me to tell you all that while Spoon is a nice comparison, he believes Michigan is a combination of Radiohead, The Notorious B.I.G., and The Beatles.)
This one’s kind of a gimme. As I was thinking of a good Michigan fit, I thought to myself, “which artist usually delivers a B, B+ like album, a couple A minuses, and one A plus?” Spoon. And you know where else I like the Spoon and Michigan comparison—their respective unique styles. Some bands sound somewhat like Spoon, albeit Britt Daniel’s voice is distinctive as is that bouncy keyboard sound. You can pick out a Spoon song pretty easy playing “name that tune” at the bar. As for Michigan, didn’t they start the new age Big Ten mold of a good power back, great special teams, huge offensive lineman, and solid defenses with flashy defensive backs? And who doesn’t love those Wolverine uniforms? Does another team in the country have as much identity as Michigan? Don’t you know what you’re getting every season/album with Michigan football and Spoon? Why do I keep asking questions?
Maybe not this year, Chris, but in the next 5-10 seasons, you’ll get another title, and hopefully another Kill the Moonlight.
12. Virginia Tech – My Morning Jacket
Watching a Virginia Tech season unfold is just like listening to a MMJ record—it always starts off amazing (“Mahgeetah”, “Wordless Chorus”), and just when you think you have a flawless, incredible record, you run into Miami (“I Will Sing you Songs” or “Into the Woods”) and finish with a damn good season/record, albeit not the magnificent one you originally thought. Although Jim James is much cooler than Frank Beamer.
PS on VT – they play their best when no one expects anything out of them. Look for them to lose to FSU again in the ACC championship.
11. Louisville – Gnarls Barkley
The new kid on the block. Basically, people who really follow college football saw Louisville coming this year. They know about their high powered offense and weak division and schedule. Likewise with indie gurus. When they heard Cee-Lo Green and Danger Mouse had a project going, they knew it was going to be huge. I’m not as into hip-hop, so I didn’t understand why this band named after the Round Mound of Rebounds was someone that every blogger in the universe thought I should download…and then I downloaded it. Then everyone else followed. Wahlah, we got the “Hey Ya” of ’06, and a Louisville team who has Miami and West Virginia to get through and a cake walk outside of those two teams.
Had star RB Michael Bush not broken his leg last week, I would have both them and West Virginia switched and with different bands. It would have been pretty complicated. But, now that the Cardinals only have stud QB Brian Brohm (think the singles “Crazy” and “Smiley Faces”) and not Bush (other solid album tracks), the comparison works—you have the singles that are really good, but without the concrete non-single tracks to have an astounding album/season. Get it?
10. UGA – Modest Mouse
One word: solid. No matter who the new quarterback is, no matter what the new concept for the latest album, you know these two will deliver and be in the race for their respective top poll positions at year’s end. UGA has new blood coming to campus in highly touted recruit, Matt Stafford, who’s supposed to be Leinart/Dorsey good. Likewise, Modest Mouse just added quite the amazing band member of its own, in legendary Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr. It’s a new chapter for both entities, yet no one who knows what they’re talking about seems to be worried that Isaac Brock and Mark Richt will come up short. Count me in as one of them.
9. Oregon – The Decemberists
The Ducks are like the bizarro Iowa. Instead of coming into each year overhyped, and eventually, unimportant to the national title race, they come in under the radar, play truly great football out west where nobody cares, and then just get left out by a nose. You can say the same about the Decemberists. Each year it seems, they release a new album, it’s really good (critics love it but the fans don’t show it as much love as say, Bloc Party), and it ends up around the number 11 spot on the year end’s list (the equivalent to being left out of the BCS Bowls in college football). Good news for the Ducks and Mr. Meloy—this year, the NCAA added another BCS game, so we may not see Oregon get screwed again. Hey, in a year where there’s no Sufjan-like “Best Album” in 95% of the indie media’s eyes, there’s a good chance Colin and the boys could make a run this year as well.
8. LSU – Wilco
Along the UGA/Modest Mouse lines of solid, these guys both have risen above that “solid” mark and actually made it to the promised land in the early 2000s. LSU won a share of the 2003 crown and Wilco delivered Yankee Hotel Foxtrot in 2002. The Tigers won by following their great leader, Nick Saban, and Wilco did the same by following theirs, Jeff Tweedy. At some points in the journey, certain guys had to ride the pine (Jay Bennett), but the respective units trusted their leaders and came out on top. They played a simple, well-played model and got the job done. Since their glory days, both Wilco and the Tigers have gone back to that “solid” level, but there’s no doubting that either of them could make a run at any point. For anyone who’s heard any of Wilco’s new stuff, expect the next album to be up to par with the best stuff they’ve ever done. If you’re an LSU fan, you’ve seen what JaMarcus Russell can do, he’s not the kind of guy to count out. The only difference is that LSU has a new leader, and let’s just say he’s no Jeff Tweedy.
7. Notre Dame – The Killers
When you’re as overhyped as these guys, it becomes hard to call yourself either “indie” or "at the college level.” They work oppositely: The Killers are a band that wish to be seen as an independent band from the rest of the modern rock world, but they are still on a major label. Notre Dame is a program that sees itself as far superior to the rest of the college programs, and sits alone as an independent without a conference. This results in two things: one, their respective audiences love them both more. And two, everyone else hates them that much more for their cockiness. Somehow, I’m in the middle. I like them both for opposite reasons, and hate them both for opposite reasons. I like Charlie Weis. I hate their boosters and their arrogant administration. I like the Killers music. I hate Brandon Flowers. In both cases, it’s the honesty that prevails (the music and Weis) and the arrogance that disgraces (the program and Brandon Flowers.) And as good as they may be this year, can we all agree they’re overrated? We saw the VMAs, we watched the GT game, this isn’t either of their years. But would anyone be shocked to see them come close?
6. Florida State – Ryan Adams
This is where you guys can give me shit. I know, my favorite artist and my favorite team. Maybe because I tune into both so intensely, and love both so HONESTLY, I can make this connection. And yes, I am biased. Here goes…
Neither FSU nor Ryan Adams have been the same since the late 90s, early 2000s. And the parallels are astounding after the slide. First off, Chris Rix is Rock n’ Roll—in theory, they should both be great, and sometimes, you think they could be, but they never, ever end up the way you hoped. Jeff Bowden would be Love is Hell—the boring, simple, never going to be smarter or better than his opponent, but still an alright coach that can’t really move his offense (artistic ability) forward. Until about 2005, FSU's defense had been just as bad as the offense. But our 2005 defense was like 13 of the 18 songs on Cold Roses—signs that we were back. That we could be great again. The secondary was a little too much like “Rosebud” for us to be a heavy hitter. We had some offensive weapons (consider Greg Carr and Lorenzo Booker to be “The End” and “Hard Way to Fall”), but it just wasn’t our year. After injuries that plagued our O-line, FSU sounded like 29 by mid-November. And yes, I have given this a ton of thought. And yes, I know a lot of Ryan fans will disagree with this assessment. A lot of fans tend to think their heroes can do no wrong. I never understood the logic, but then again, my buddy Troy still tries to argue Chris Rix was a good quarterback, so some people are just who they are.
5. Ohio State – Death Cab for Cutie
Honesty moment—I told myself I would be honest and give The Stripes to a team I hated if I would, as a trade, give another team I hated a band much worse than them, however, just as overrated. (And yes, if the Buckeyes cream Texas this week, I’ll tell you how my foot tastes then). It seems we always hear about how damn good both of these guys are, but I don’t get it. Is Troy Smith really the next Vince Young? I mean, could Ben Gibbard even be allowed in the same room as Isaac Brock, Jeff Tweedy, or Jim James? Besides all of the obvious overrated jokes we can make (is Ted Ginn Jr. really the next Desmond Howard? Sorry, last one), how can we think that a football team that lost NINE starters on defense AND plays in the toughest division can win the title? Likewise, how can we consider Death Cab a serious band when they’re name-dropped each week on The OC? (Note: I loved the first season of The OC, and I still watch it every week, but it’s really not that good, however, The Cohens have become family for me, and until they’re off the air, I’m watching. Well, unless this season blows, I can't take much more.) And am I the only one who feels Gibbard’s voice needs to be considered 76% emo? Is there a duet with Dashboard on the next album, Benny Boy?
And the other correlation between each team? Well, it just so happens that they are both ranked in the number 2 position in the respective polls Least Favorite Band and Least Favorite College done by new GVB columnist Austin LaRoche. Pretty bad press for both, I’d say. :-) (OSU and Death Cab fans—relax, you’re still in the top five in this goofy list.)
Before we get to the top 4, I need to say a few things. One, most “experts” when picking the top teams, put who they think have the best team in the top spots. Not me. I look at schedules and how I think due to the teams they play and the talent they have, who will end up in the top spot. College Football is one of the most crooked sports if you look at the fact that teams like Auburn have to play LSU, Florida, and Alabama, while others such as West Virginia have one tough game all year (Louisville). I’m not saying my picks are the best teams, just the ones I see playing in Tempe. Basically, as a gambler, this is how I’m looking at it. As for the fan side? USC and FSU, no doubt about it.
4. Auburn – The Shins
2004 kicked ass for these guys, didn’t it? Between Zach Braff and Garden State and Auburn and their undefeated season, things were pretty good for the two. But there was something strange about their success. For Auburn, they were as good as they could be, went undefeated in the toughest conference, and still got pissed on. For the Shins, it was becoming popular at the expense of a movie instead of their own album. I know, I know, both feats were incredible and I don’t think the Auburn football program nor the Shins feel as though they would do things different, but don’t you think Auburn would have been happier with a National Title and the Shins would like to be thought of as their own band instead of the one that changed Natalie Portman’s life? Could be a stretch, I might be alone here, but I’m standing strong.
As far as these days go, well, the sky’s the limit. Auburn may be the best team in football. Kenny Irons could win the Heisman. The only thing holding them back? A tough schedule. Likewise, the Shins could make the album of the decade, have a single go straight to number one, but they’ve decided to release an album in January, the month everyone forgets about once March starts pumping out the new spring records. Shins fans will probably call me crazy for all this, and I understand, but I think this marketing scheme is TERRIBLE by Sub Pop. Either get the record out by October or wait until March. I know we would hate if every band did this, but this is one of the really important and most anticipated albums to come out in awhile on the indie scene, they have a responsibility to do it right, correct? (Wow, goose fraba, Austin, how bout a deep breath?) Regardless, they have obstacles to overcome, obstacles I think will only slightly get in the way…but enough to keep them from the top.
3. USC – Kayne West
Pure domination. Easily the best artist/program since the millennium began. Kanye can get number 2 in one or two year-end lists, and USC can lose one or two nail-biters in a span of three years, but they are far and away better than the competition. Remember my Jack White/Cobain reference earlier? Seeing Kanye perform at Lollapalooza was like watching the Master of the Universe perform. The funny thing? I’m not really a rap guy, I don’t listen to Kanye that much. But he’s so good that I can listen to one sentence out of his mouth (not the George Bush one) and just feel the grasp he has on the music world right now and how honest and solid it is. You can’t argue any differently with Trojans. Matt Leinart (The College Dropout) and Reggie Bush (Late Registration) are the two best college athletes this decade, and you can’t deny just how much BETTER they are above the competition.
Which brings us to present day. It’s been a couple years in a row for these guys, is it time for a rest? Is someone going to take their throne? Can they take a breather for one season/year? Even if Kanye isn’t putting out records, he’s on the throne, so who’s going to take it from him? Maybe The College Dropout Leinart and Late Registration Reggie are a thing of the past, but isn’t the ground work set for their predecessors? Are John David Booty and Chauncey Washington potentially 5-star records? I think they might have to be edited and produced to perfection to be…and that’s only going to take a year.
2. West Virginia – The Arcade Fire
One year. That’s all it took. One year, and the “rebuilding” Mountaineers stormed through college football, hiccupped only once, and became the smartest pick to go undefeated in 2006. One year, one review, and one amazing touring act. That’s all it took. The Arcade Fire have now garnered “all eyes are on us to be the next great thing” status. Will both prevail? It’s a tough call—they’re both so new to the big leagues. But they are the paper pick in both categories. The Arcade Fire SHOULD put out the next Ok Computer—mind-boggling album. West Virginia SHOULD run the table now that Louisville’s two-headed monster was guillotined into a one-sided passing game. But expectations are tough to meet in this day and age, and let’s be honest, strange things happen. Wasn’t Jeff Mangum supposed to make that mind-boggling album at one point? Wasn’t Ron Powlus supposed to win four Heismans? I’m just saying, shit happens. But sometimes, like with Wilco’s Summerteeth follow-up or like USC the past three years, those expectations aren’t impossible, and I just can’t see how WVU can lose a game.
1. Texas – Sufjan Stevens
(Quick Texas rant before I go into the indie rock comparison: I am not a Texas fan at all. I love the town, the students seem fun, and Vince Young isn’t a bad guy. Having said that, I can’t believe the schedule Texas has and there's something about Mack Brown that gives me the creeps (maybe it's because he kind of looks like the president.) But with Oklahoma’s QB problems and the Big 12 blowing balls, all Texas has to do is win this week against Ohio State at home. That’s it. They win, they’re 95% in. Look at that schedule. I know it’s college football, I know things can happen, but not when you’re playing Northwestern Texas Scientology and The Tribeca School for the Blind. Mack Brown has recruited himself enough talent to be in the position for a “one big win and you’re in” year every year. And I can’t tell you how wrong I want to be here. God I want Texas to lose 3 games. If you couldn’t tell by my USC preview earlier, I don’t even give the Horns their props for the title. I think that Trojan team would win 7 out of 10 and Vince Young and Michael Huff are the only two guys who deserve to wear a ring on that squad. Wow, I didn’t realize how much I hated Texas until now. Anyway, this is how I see it playing out.)
The winners from last year are still on top these days. Indie was owned by Sufjan, a one-man show who proved he was more innovative and creative than everyone else. Texas proved their one-man show was more durable and clutch than everyone else. Now that 2005 is over, though, it doesn’t seem like anyone’s getting pulled from their position anytime soon. Texas still is a Top 5 team with the schedule to make it to Tempe undefeated, and if you asked 75% of the indie media who the man is, they’re going with Sufjan. The future looks bright for these guys, no doubt about it, and it doesn't look like anyone's holding them back. There's really no other way to put it.
Now do me a favor, everyone else, fight, scratch, and claw you’re way up there. It’s a long season, and anything can happen.
And for the second time in two columns...GO NOLES!
Have a suggestion for a column? Have a funny question/inquery in the indie music/pop culture/sports world? Shoot me an email at AustinLaRoche@gmail.com and who knows, you may see your question in a future column.
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